Though most people take sex and sexuality for granted, it can be a difficult anxiety-ridden experience for trans people. First, the ignorance of the medical community has made trans people wary of how they are perceived. There are things that need to be said, red tape and bureaucratic hoops that one has to jump through to get access to hormone therapy. That is something many trans people believe helps them physically be who they feel they are inside.
Today, the trans community looks out for one another and tells the younger members what to do to survive. For trans women, one of the major issues with hormone therapy is that it often blocks patients sex drive. However, they also feel judged emotionally for wanting sex in the first place, as our society still isn’t comfortable with the female libido or female sexual expression. Sometimes these issues or the journey one has made can be things that can come between a trans person and their lover. Instead of concentrating on the other person, the ghosts of these conversations and experiences can haunt a person.
The next problem is their genitalia. Trans people wonder whether or not their partners will be understanding, interested, has a fetish or will be disgusted by how they look. These complications can cause anxiety. Also, if the person likes something but women aren’t supposed to like that thing, more confusion can be brought into the mix, which doesn’t really help matters.
When trans people are interested in someone, they have to talk to them know about their situation, which can become embarrassing. It can raise a red flag; suddenly a hook up isn’t so simple anymore. The person may wonder if the other is squeamish about seeing them naked. Though many people have felt this way, it’s a different matter when your sex organs don’t match your gender preference.
If you are going to be with a trans person, don’t automatically assume that you should talk about everything, establish some rapport first. Open the lines of communication, feel things out, and make them comfortable. Find out what they do and don’t like, tell them your preferences. It’s like being with any other lover. Just try to let them know that their situation is more than okay with you.