Women who like women are called lesbians. We are women who find other women sexually attractive. We are women who feel emotionally and mentally close to women. We are women who prefer women as partners (or lovers?).
As lesbians, we are not alone. One out of every 10 adolescents is a lesbian or a gay. Many famous lesbians can be found in the historical scene. Lesbians can be doctors, teachers, lawyers, factory workers, police officers, politicians, ministers, movie stars, artists, mothers, nurses, truck drivers, models, writers. You name it…
Lesbians can be white, black, Asian, Latin, South American, Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist. Lesbians can be rich, poor, working class, or middle class. Some lesbians live in heterosexual marriages. Some lesbians are disabled. Lesbians can be young women and older women. You name it, we will be.
Lots of lesbians live in cities and in the countryside. We are everywhere.
How can i know if ı’m lesbian?
“When I was little, I dreamed of living with my best girlfriend when I grew up, and this feeling remained unchanged as I got older.” – Tuğba, 21
“When I was very young, we would fall in love with other girls, but then we were expected to get out of this process. We had to read books telling the stories of girls meeting boys and boys meeting girls. Honestly, I could never read those books to the end.”
During adolescence, most young girls become aware of their sexual feelings and become interested in the idea of “dating.” Many find men attractive, but many young girls are also attracted to their fellows.
You may realize that you like your fellows. You may feel that you are different from your girlfriends, sometimes not at all numb. You may find yourself slaughtering girls, while your girlfriends are cutting guys. You may not be interested in dating guys. ”Why aren’t there any guys like that wonderful woman I’m seeing?” You can ask yourself.
In addition to all this, you may be confused or doubtful about whether you are a lesbian or not. The vast majority of adults will tell us that it is too early for us to call ourselves gay, that we are going through an era, or that we do not know what we are talking about.
You may be confused because you find both men and women attractive. This is not a problem. Some women may have sex with both men and women throughout their lives. Some may choose to be completely lesbian or heterosexual afterwards. (“Prefer” is a suitable sexual orientation. seemed to me not the definition.)
Sexuality develops over time, so don’t worry if you’re unsure of your sexual identity.
Am i normal?
“We are told that homosexuality is sickly, perverted, sinful or abnormal. But those who say this are the same people who claim that the place of women is the kitchen and that the disabled are useless. Who has the right to say what is normal? For some, eating raw fish is normal, for others. It can be disgusting and abnormal. ”- Tülin, 19
“It is very courageous that we become aware of the homosexual orientation within us and reach the desire to change our living conditions accordingly.” Natalie, 23
Yes, you are normal. It is entirely natural for a person to be attracted to their fellows, but this is not something supported by our society; many people suppress these feelings due to prejudices against gay and lesbian.
Most scientists agree that the foundations of sexual orientation were laid at a very young age, sometimes even at birth.
Whether you are gay or straight, it is normal and healthy to be yourself, and learning to love ourselves is what matters.
How does it feel to be young and lesbian?
“I feel very strong, special, independent and brave” -Natalie, age 23.
“It’s a scary feeling at times. There were times when I wasn’t sure of myself, but other than that, I felt great and proud.” – Tülin, age 19.
There is no such thing as certain rules, right or wrong of being a lesbian. Because of the stereotypical lesbians that society has imposed on us since childhood, you may think that if you are a lesbian, you must have certain characteristics. but Lesbians are women of any level of education, any appearance or profession.
Your sexual orientation is only part of your personality, and you likely have hobbies and interests that are the same as your straight friends.
Some people cannot accept lesbians and gays because of homophobic and prejudiced thoughts. Lesbians and gays suffer from discrimination and violence, which is why there is a gay and lesbian organizations fighting for gay rights.
“From the moment I accepted myself and my sexuality, I realized that I started to be more interested in life and to have more warm relations with my friends because I was much more at peace with myself” -Tuğba, age 21
“I often felt depressed and sad because of the homophobia I was constantly confronted with, but then I realized that I have the power to educate people of my generation.” – Müge, age 20.
How will we learn to love ourselves?
“It is very important that we do not deny our feelings. We may be surprised at how happy we can be if we can truly be the kind of person who comes from within. And we have to reflect on our positive aspects, being a lesbian is a very positive thing. ”- Rabia, age 24
“It helps when I interact with people who make me feel good and happy. And I’m trying to do things that make me feel good. ”- Serap, age 19
Every person has the right to be satisfied with himself/herself. We are all valuable people. Developing self-confidence is very important for young people. It is difficult for lesbian and gay youth to feel good about themselves when there are people around us who think we are doomed to lead sick, perverted, or very unhappy lives.
If we feel obliged to hide who we really are, we may want to harm ourselves through alcohol, drugs and suicide. Especially if we don’t have anyone to talk to about the fact that we are lesbians, we can feel quite excluded, fearful and depressed.
Above all, we learn to love our identity as young lesbians. It helps to read good books about lesbians – books about lesbians with complete and accurate information and leading very fulfilling lives. It also helps to meet other lesbians because this way we understand that lesbians are at least as diverse as any other human group and society tells us a lot of lies.
“I’m a lesbian and I’m fine.” It may be helpful to say this to yourself every day. And to talk, try to find someone who thinks lesbians are okay. Remember; Being a lesbian is normal and natural, just as it is normal and natural for some to be heterosexual.
Who should i tell?
“Until you feel comfortable about it, you should not feel pressured to tell others that you are a lesbian. Be prepared for different reactions of people. ” -Tuğba, age 21.
“You just have to tell someone if you think you have enough strength to face the things that can happen. Try to open up to others when you think you cannot cope with these emotions on your own any longer. If you think your family may go crazy, tell someone who can be more objective.” – Sabriye, age 19.
“When I told a few of my friends that I was a lesbian, I told them that I was no different than 5 minutes ago, but now I am not keeping a big secret from them.” – Tülin, age 19.
Coming out is the process of accepting yourself as a lesbian and understanding how open you want to be about your sexual orientation.
Unfortunately, not everyone you know might think being a lesbian is the greatest thing since sliced bread rolls, it’s hard to know who can support you and handle it. Some of your friends will accept you, others may move away from you or tell other people without your permission. It can be very difficult to open up to the family.
But some lesbian and gay youth were expelled from their homes when their families learned of their orientation.
Having someone you can talk to is important because it is neither normal nor healthy to have to keep such an important part of your life a secret. The web addresses of gay organizations and societies that you can trust, get help or consult on are available in the “links” section of our site.
How can i meet other lesbian people?
“There are many lesbians around you, but you don’t know they are lesbians just as they don’t know you are lesbians. Do not lose hope. You will meet someone after all. ”- Serap, age 19
Local feminists, lesbian rganizations, dating apps. (You can find internet addresses of these organizations in the links section of our site) Moreover.
Search gay / lesbian or feminist publications in your area.