Sexuality is full of labels, the most prominent being straight or gay. As a society we love to live in boxes or to be labeled so that we feel part of some kind of group; it helps us to become comfortable with our way of life. At some point in your existence you will find yourself thinking, “Oh I like women, therefore I must be a lesbian” or “Oh no, I like men, therefore I am heterosexual”. This is called determining your sexuality.
But what happens if you have a burning sexual attraction for both men and women?
Is this just a phase you are going through, or do you fit into the box labeled bisexual?
Being bisexual basically means that you are attracted to, and would engage in sexual activity with, both male and female partners. Bisexuals are probably the most misunderstood people in society. Lesbians and gays find it just as hard to accept as straight people that there are human beings that exist on this earth that are sexually attracted to both men and women. Bisexuals often get taunted for being the lazy sexuality, people that can’t make up their minds, or people that just won’t commit. In reality, bisexual people are those of us that can fall in love with a man, or a woman, and couldn’t care less what sex they are and what type of genitals they have. They recognize the inner being rather than the outer core.
Lesbian Or Bisexual?
We all go through a period of discovering our sexual identity. This can be during puberty, or it can take place much later on in life – especially if someone has kept their true sexuality under wraps for decades because they were afraid of rejection. It can be incredibly hard to come to terms with the fact that you are sexually attracted to women, but people who are confused about their sexuality struggle even more when they can’t determine whether they like men or women more.
If you find that you can relate to this dilemma then it sounds like you are trying to determine whether you are a lesbian or a bisexual. Before anything else, start by answering the five questions below with a simple YES or NO answer.
1. Do you find both men and women attractive?
2. Is it the person rather than the gender that attracts you to people?
3. Can you be sexually aroused by both men and women?
4. Do you find yourself fantasizing about sex with both men and women?
5. Do you enjoy sex with both men and women (if you have had sex with both sexes)?
If your answer to all of these questions is yes, then you could be bisexual; ‘could’ being the operative word in this sentence. The truth is that there is no steadfast rule, or description, that you can match yourself against to say whether you are leaning towards lesbianism or bisexuality. The answer lies in the test of time. You just have to go with the flow, allow yourself to gain sexual experience, and decide for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be labeled straight, or gay, by society just because that’s the way most people like to live. If, at this present moment in time, you want to have sex with both men and women then you should allow yourself to do so.
Then, in time, you will be able to decide for yourself whether bisexuality is your true path, or you were actually a lesbian all along but you were frightened to let go of the apron strings of heterosexuality. At the end of the day the label doesn’t matter; it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual; they are all just words that put groups of people in boxes. Maybe bisexuals break the mould, but if you love men and women then who are we to argue!