Its been with you all of your life. Sometimes in the foreground, often times in the background. Its really influenced your life but you never realized it. Then suddenly one day you receive a startling revelation. You still like the clothing of the opposite sex. You are a Crossdresser. You thought it was getting better but now its getting worse as you get older.
You let your mind drift back to your childhood and you realize that this has always been with you, though not as strong. Before you’d put it in the back of your mind. Besides telling anyone back then would have meant certain ridicule and ostracism. So you ignored it and went on with your life, pretending everything was fine. You’ve burned your stash of female clothing a dozen times.
Now its exploded and overwhelmed you. Where did all this come from? Why now? I can’t think about this now. I have a wife and kids. I have responsibilities. Yet an eerie calm comes over you as the pieces of your life start to form a complete picture for the first time. You ask yourself, what do I do about this? What are my options?
Don’t panic. The good news is you’re not sick and you’re not nuts. You merely have a desire for feminine expression that’s been with you since childhood. As long as this can be expressed to even some small degree you will be just fine. The problem is how? After all you live with someone now.
The key of course is control. How much control do you have over this? If you are depressed, or have high anxiety, or compulsive behavior a simple visit to the Psychiatrist can fix you up with the
proper medication that will at least let the control be yours. Realize though that this won’t totally end your crossdressing. While you’re there you might ask him about referral to a gender counselor to help you find practical ways to express yourself. Normally if any therapy even is required, the time you would need it would be fairly short. Especially if you’re needs don’t go much beyond crossdressing.
Read all you can about crossdressing on the Internet. Check out the Web Pages of people like yourself. You are not alone. Ask questions in transgendered Forums and visit some transgendered Chat rooms as well. Most larger cities have Crossdressing Clubs where you can express your self.
Check out online catalogs or even E-Bay for clothing to get you started. After you have some knowledge talk to your SO about your needs. At least try to strike a deal where you can have some private time to yourself. Explain that the Feminine as well as the masculine makes you the wonderful person that you are. You have no reason to feel ashamed.
Author Laura Amato
2004, @ Laura’s Playground