Gay Dating

Gay relationships come in a variety of forms, from casual sexual encounters to a monogamous long term bond. The kind of relationship you want reflects your values and beliefs, your life situation and the kinds of interactions you want to have with other men. If you want more than a casual connection, developing a relationship requires some form of dating — social interactions that allow both parties to get a sense whether or not they might be a match.

How do you know who to date? What factors would cause you to ask someone out or to accept an invitation to go out? How do you approach a dating situation? What makes some relationships seem to flourish and grow while others fizzle and flame out? Are good relationships built on meeting a compatible person at just the right time, it is chemistry or is it just luck?

Define What You Want

If being in a relationship is your goal then it all begins with knowing what you really want and being who you really are. Successful dating is really about knowing yourself — what are your “must haves,” what is “negotiable,” and what are your “deal breakers?” As with any goal, you need to have clarity about what you are looking for to know whether or not you are on track for success.

Clearly, not every date results in a relationship and not every man is looking for gay marriage. Even when everything seems to be in order and aligned, the magic that brings two gay men together at the right time doesn’t always work out. There are times when dating becomes an exercise in clarifying what you don’t want. The good news is that there are a lot of men out there who are looking for the same things you are — including gay love — and the trick is finding ways to bring yourselves together.

Help For Navigating The Gay Dating Scene

Honesty, openness, communication — these words are key, but how do they apply to your interactions with other gay men? If you are looking for a relationship, where do you go to find available men? And can you look for a relationship, or does it have to find you? These and many other questions are ones that as a life coach I can use to help you clarify what you want, and how best to achieve it. Keep in mind that what happens on a date should be the reflection of your goals.

J. Duke
Guide For Gay Men